Louisa asks :

Hi Lucy, 

So I've just got my dream job...the only issue is an ex-friend works for the company in the office I'll be in. The friendship ended with a big argument and we haven't spoken in four years. I'd reach out to give her a heads up but I no longer have her number and I'm blocked off her social media and that could backfire anyway as it could give her a chance to bad mouth me to all my new colleagues before I even start. I'm worried about the reception I'll receive on my first day and don't want this to become an issue at work. How do I handle this?


Hi Louisa,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

You have already admitted that this is your 'dream job'- so it might be wise to focus on making a good impression with everyone else, learning new skills and making the most of this opportunity.

If you spend the time worrying about what she may or may not be saying behind your back; this could affect your concentration in the first few weeks of working there- which are arguably the most important.

If she does decide to talk about you to the others- and you're the opposite of the person she has portrayed- they will soon learn the truth and realise that it's personal.

If it has been four years, perhaps this has been enough to dilute whatever happened between you and maybe she has moved on.

If you feel compelled to speak to her- you could take her to one side on the first day and talk about making this work. You have a history- but there are bigger things to worry about now- like being civil at work and getting on with what you're there to do. This might nip things in the bud if she does feel the need to gossip.

She may feel a little territorial if she worked there before you- but as long as you prove your worth, then she should have no reason to object to you being there.

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