Caridee asks :

Hi Lucy, 

I'm a 21-year-old girl and my roommate is making me really unhappy. She makes fun of my clothes. She makes fun of me in general and says that she talks about me to her Mum and they laugh. She's self-obsessed and over-confident in herself. She sings really loudly in her bedroom and shouts down the telephone. She's messy and dirty. She steals my socks. When she's in a mood she takes it out on me. She always questions things I do, even the simplest things like washing grapes before eating them. She talks about herself all the time and rarely does she ask me how I am. I'm stuck with her until July. Should I stick it out?


Hi Caridee,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like this girl is not really someone you can call your friend. Friends are there to lift us up and make us feel better about ourselves not worse- women are harsh enough on themselves without anyone else joining in.

It sounds like she may not be as confident as she makes out. Perhaps putting you down makes her feel better because it takes the focus of her.

I would suggest spending time with your other friends- those who make you feel good. If you socialise more, this will get you out of the house and away from the negativity and her disruptive nature.

If she criticises you- try to ignore it and remember that it is likely more about her than you. If she steals your things- keep everything in your room and perhaps invest in a lock so you can be sure that everything will be where you left it.

If she's messy, keep your own areas tidy and don't tidy up after her- that is her responsibility after all. If she sees that you won't pick up after her anymore- it may get on top of her to the point of doing something about it.

If you try to get out of your contact now it could be tricky and might create more of an atmosphere at home. Once she realises that you will no longer tolerate her negative comments, she may get bored and leave you alone. Then in July you can go your separate ways and surround yourself with positive people.

by for
find me on and follow me on

tagged in

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.