Emily asks :

Hi Lucy,

I've just finished university, and I'm looking for a job in London where my boyfriend lives. We love each other and our relationship is great, but my family lives up near Leeds, and I'm really worried about moving so far away - it feels very final. Should I properly start looking for a job in London or stay up north with my family? I'm worried about moving away for a job in London, but at the same time I don't think I want to be stuck in my little village at home where I can't see my boyfriend very often. Thanks.


Hi Emily,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you do find a job and home in London, it doesn't have to be final with your family. If you can agree with your family to see each other on a regular basis, you could have it all. Perhaps alternate between travelling up to see them and vice versa so you can have the best of both worlds. If you call them often and set up skype calls in between this may also help to give you the support you need during a time of change on top of the support from your boyfriend.

Perhaps try applying for both areas and see what comes up. It might be that the job decides for you if your dream job comes up. You might need the valuable experience that one area offers that the other doesn't before moving on to something else.

You say you love your boyfriend- but do you see it being a long term thing? If so then it may be time to start a new chapter, however if there is any doubt about the longevity of your relationship then you might find yourself in a very lonely place. Be sure that your future plans are aligned and that you are not just doing this for him.

Whatever you deicide doesn't have to be forever. You could get a job and find you love it and want to stay or want to move on soon after you start. It might be worth giving it a go before making your final decision. Change and fear are powerful feelings that can make us want to stay within our comfort zones, however there is the possibility that it turns out to be the best thing you ever do.

by for v5.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

tagged in

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.