John asks :

Hi Lucy, 

I'm currently a first year university student (male) and I live with a really cool flat mate who I'm starting to become more attracted to. We have loads in common and even live relatively near one another. One weekend she brought her sister up to stay with her for a Friday and Saturday evening out. I ended up kissing my flat mate's sister on both nights out and she even slept in my room, albeit nothing further happened between us. I'm in such a dilemma as I'm starting to like her more and more each day, but I'm still relatively inexperienced with relationships. Furthermore, is it even acceptable to make any feelings apparent considering she knows about her sister and me?


Hi John,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Chances are, if she suspected that you liked her before, she probably doesn't anymore after you kissed her sister.

If you really like her then it might be time to put a few things straight. First I would ask yourself why you kissed her sister? Was it to make her jealous? To spark a reaction? It may not have been the best way to go about it but she might appreciate your honesty as your actions may be sending her in the opposite direction. It sounds like that is the last thing you want.

If she does like you back there may always be the awkwardness of you being intimate with her sister. Keep in mind that you may need to navigate through those feelings before anything more happens. It could be a permanent barrier for her or she may be able to push past it but be prepared for the conversation at the very least.

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