Sarah asks :

Hi Lucy,

I have recently started university and within the first two weeks we spoke about who we were going to live with. One girl thinks she is going to live with us but we have nothing in common with her and barely spends any time with us. We need to tell her that we have other people to live with without hurting her feelings. How do we tell her we don't want to live with her?

 

Hi Sarah,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

I would suggest that honesty is the best policy here- if you hang on till the end of the academic year- it will only make it harder to tell her if you are certain you don't want to live with her. It will also give her enough time to find somewhere else if you tell her sooner rather than later. If you drop it on her at the last minute then she may not be able to find a house share in time.

If you have good reason then perhaps tell her what you have told me- that she may be better off living with people she has something in common with and wants to spend her time with.

The last thing she needs is to feel you are ganging up on her, so try to be as mindful of things from her perspective as you can.

Alternatively, if there is enough of you for a large house share could you not include her as well? If she keeps herself to herself then it may do you no harm to have her under the same roof. You can continue being friends with the housemates you are closest with and see her when you see her.

As long as she isn't a bad influence or attracts bad company then you may be able to live in harmony all together.


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