M Armstrong asks :

 

Hi M Armstrong,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

I would suggest not giving her advice but simply being there for her and supporting her decision. She has been through it once, so she will understand more than anyone how it feels to lose someone she loves to cancer and how long it took her to get her life back together.

This time around she has a choice to protect herself, whereas before she didn't. She may be doing it because she knows she isn't strong enough to go through it all again- even if this man is right for her.

With that said, I agree, it is also important to live for today and enjoy the moments we have with those people who make our lives a little brighter. She may struggle to see it that way knowing what she does. 

I would encourage you to stand by whatever she chooses as this can't be an easy decision. If you persuade her in one direction or the other she might look to place blame if it doesn't go her way. It might be better, for both of you, to be her friend rather than her advisor- unless she asks for your opinion- in which case you could tell her what you think. Ultimately it's down to her as she knows her own inner strength.


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