Anon asks :

Hi there. I am writing to you because for the past two years ive had an issue playing At the back of my mind that wont go away. Ive been with my boyfriend for over 3 years but he had an ex who he was with for a while too but they was really young. However after a year of going out with my boyfriend, he went to a bbq with friends who were talking about his ex that night. My boyfriend got so drunk that he had to go home instead coming to mine. The monday after his ex emailed him saying did you ring me the other night saying you loved me and your sorry. I questioned my boyfriend about and hes sworn on his sisters life who has had a deathly illness that he never rang her. he has cried and his mum has backed him up sayin he was too drunk to call anybody. Plus he didnt even have her number or know it because they hadnt been in contact. However, his call list was deleted on his phone which woried me but everytime i bring it up he swears to life he would have no reason to do that and didnt do it. What do i believe?

Lucy says:

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If he didn’t have her number then he is likely telling the truth, Could it be that she is just trying to stir things up between you and your boyfriend if she still has feelings? It could have been one of his mates playing prank if they had her number and thought it was funny when they were drunk. The fact he has deleted his call list is a bit suspicious, how do you know he doesn’t have her number? If you have been worried about it for so long then it is clear that you have trusts issue with this guy. If he did want to leave you for his ex then he could, so you either keep digging to find out what is the truth or you let it go and move on and trust what he has told you.

Cameron says:

This sounds like one of his friends called her off his phone and deleted the call list as a prank. The bigger issue is that you’ve not been able to let this go for so long. You obviously don’t trust him wholeheartedly and think of his ex as a threat. Also, how did you know that she e-mailed him? If you’re going through his e-mails and call list, then you really do have trust issues with this man. You need to assess why you don’t trust him after this long a time, especially if nothing else has ever happened.

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