Gemma Collins "felt suicidal" when her relationship with James 'Arg' Argent broke down.
The 40-year-old star was at an "all-time low" over Christmas 2019, and she admitted their romance turned "very sour" because of Arg's drug addiction, insisting drugs "changed him as a person".
She said: "For anyone who ever thinks about taking drugs, or just trying it for one night, you can end up getting addicted.
"I was really happy with James. We did get on, but the drugs changed him as a person. I fought every day for three years to get him well.
"I have felt suicidal … I think when my relationship broke down with Arg, that affected me. I just thought, I don't wanna be here anymore. I can't take it.
"Christmas was an all-time low. I saved his life three times, I had this insatiable love for him - I never wanted to give up on him.
"It was hard, there was a lot of love there - the relationship turned very, very sour because of the drugs."Arg admitted in May last year he was a cocaine addict, and revealed his addiction led to him suffering two near-fatal overdoses in 2019.
Gemma has also opened up about her finances, revealing her father gives her a £3,000 per month allowance after she once blew £50,000 in two months in London, including splashing out £600 a night staying at The Dorchester hotel and going "absolutely crazy" buying shoes, bags and coats in Gucci.
Speaking on 'Piers Morgan's Life Stories', the former 'TOWIE' star - who has previously earned £75,000 in one day through Instagram posts - added: "I'm a spender - my dad rung me up [and said], 'It's an absolute disgrace.' I'd spent £50,000 in two months up in Knightsbridge.
"It was £1,000 a day over the cause of two months, but I was going through a bit of a hard time.
"I felt disgusted in myself; I went absolutely crazy in Gucci - shoes, bags, coats - I was staying in The Dorchester more or less every night of the week, £600 a pop, and I was wining and dining in there.
"I got absolutely massive, I could barely walk - it was kind of like self destruction in a way, and I'm pleased that my dad took my card off me as I am telling you now I'd have ended up in trouble.
"I get a budget, I get an allowance each month - only £3,000.
"If it were down to me I'd be driving around in a Bentley, I'd probably move into The Dorchester but that's not allowed or accepted and I'm really pleased. It keeps me grounded."