By Match’s dating expert, Hayley Quinn

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Cancer and Sagittarius should never mix. Virgo and Taurus get on great. Watch out for Scorpios?

For some having an incompatible star sign is the ultimate dating deal breaker. Whether you list your star sign on your dating app profile or read your horoscope to define your perfect match, does NASA’s recent announcement that there are in fact 13-star signs change anything?

Astrologers will be quick to point out that traditional star signs were only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to compatibility anyway. Place, time of birth and moon signs are seen to give a more accurate assessment of whether you’re destined to be together.

However, looking for an astrological match like deciding you need to date someone who can play doubles with you at tennis, maybe exactly the wrong dating deal breaker to focus on. When you’re looking for a long-term partner it can be too easy to get hung up on what I call ‘relationship snap’, where you focus on having to have everything in common, or astrological compatibility.

Whilst it can be fun to check your horoscope for your compatibility, this is the wrong indicator of your relationship’s potential to focus on. Having compatible horoscopes, or a shared fascination with Love Island, doesn’t actually tell you much about how you will function together as a couple. It is at best a ‘nice to have’.

True compatibility is something that you can only work out over a period of getting to know one another, not from ‘snapping’ on having the same star sign, or favourite movie in common.

A great partner is someone first and foremost who shows a willingness every day to put equal levels of effort into the relationship. It is someone who is communicative, consistent and clear in their intentions. These aren’t qualities you can get from reading what someone likes from their profile, they’re qualities that only become apparent after an extended period of knowing someone.

So, when you’re thinking about who to match with remember to be slow to judge and keep your selection of who you date broad. It’s often wiser to judge less about someone from their profile, and more from how they interact with you:

Is it easy to chat to them?

Do they naturally message you at a pace you like?

Do they pick a good moment to ask you on a first date?

Are they reliable?

Are they making an effort to get to know you too?

Is it easy to know where they stand?

Instead of seeing a bad astrological match as a deal breaker, keep an open mind until you know someone better. Cast your net wide then filter, filter, filter, based on someone’s behaviour. Finding the perfect partner is much less about guessing who looks perfect on paper and much more about doing your due diligence and getting to know someone in the real world.