Today is Falling Needles Family Fest Day so we remind ourselves of the good, the bad and the ugliness that is having a real Chrsitmas tree.
Discuss the last time you had a real tree- And the nuisance (to put it mildly) it was when the festivities were over before swearing to each other you won't give in and a fake on will do.
You get swept up in the romance of it all- They smell better, they have them in all the festive movies, they look better…all the while conveniently ignoring the fact that they are a giant pain in the arse once Christmas is over.
Pick it up- You give in, find a place to buy one, load it up and get needles all over your car. Whoever came up with the bright idea of getting a real tree has to hoover it out.
Trail needles through you house- Then the one with all the ideas has to clean that up too.
Put your decorations on the tree- Admire it for mere seconds when you finish before the dustpan and brush comes out because the mess underneath makes it look like a polished turd.
Focus on the lovely smell and look of the tree- To try and sugar coat the constant clearing up it demands.
Brag about your real tree to guests- They have no idea how much work is involved but for the few hours they're in your home- they approve so that's what counts.
When Christmas is over- You bundle it up- put it back in the car and take it to the recycling centre. Then drive home, clean out the car and your house- AGAIN.
Swear you won't get a real tree next year- You promise each other that neither of you will fall for that one again.
Find needles about your home for the rest of the year- Seriously- they appear everywhere- in your underwear, in rooms the tree was never in and in your hair- HOW?