Starting university is a huge change in a child's life, but how does it affect their parents when they leave to start their new life? Rosie Freeman Jones tell all!
Why can children going to university effect the balance of a couple’s relationship?
When children leave the family home, the dynamic is totally different - like in any situation - there is a gap to fill. Having children at home takes the focus off of the couple as they take priority. Once it's 'just the two of us' again, after years of being a family unit, the spotlight is fixed firmly back on their relationship and the cracks that may have been papered over start to surface, and with no distractions around these become a central focus.
Why is intimacy often the first element of a relationship to suffer when a child comes along?
Each couple varies, but many women are just too invested in their new born loves - along with feeling exhausted and consumed, men are often left on the sidelines as sex is the last thing on a new mother’s mind. Many couples also have their new baby sleeping in the same room with them for many months which can make intimacy all the more difficult.
How does this evolve over time for both men and women?
Men can start to feel unwanted or even rejected sexually which is a massive dent to their self-esteem. Over time if left unchecked, this can build and build until the damage can be irreparable.
Why can the passion diminish once their children has flown the nest?
It's not so much that passion diminishes, it's more a question of feelings and needs going unchecked that build up over time and as these are bought to light; the spotlight is back solely on the couple.
Why do we always crave romance and excitement in our lives even as we get older?
To feel youthful, young and alive! We all need this, but more than often when family life takes over, we push our personal desires out of sight. But once the children are off to university, we have chance to think about ourselves as individuals again, for the first time in years.
Why is empty nest syndrome one of the main reasons why some people join dating websites?
To recapture all the above without breaking up the family home. Most of the members on Illicit Encounters are not looking to end their marriage - far from it, they have some 'me time' for the first time in years, and with the dynamics changes over the years within marriage, they want to find some private pleasure away from their spouses without anyone getting hurt. Selfish? Not really, quite the opposite.