Written by Hayley Bystram, Matchmaker and Founder of Bowes-Lyon Partnership

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

The quest to finding Mr Right, often starts with a long-list of requirement and criteria. The reality, when we find our true long-term partner, is not such a box ticking exercise. Some of the main criteria can be overlooked if the elusive ‘chemistry’ or ‘spark’ is present. So, if you can’t trust your list, how can you tell he is the one? Here are the top ten signs.

  1. The checklist has gone out of the window. We know what we want but often we miss what we need. In reality, what we need is an honest, funny, kind man who adores us. How tall he is, his star sign or what he does for a living suddenly seem totally irrelevant because you heart is singing.
  2. He makes you laugh. This is timeless. Even when the looks have faded you can still laugh together. which can get you through the tough times. Plus, it suggests shared values, intelligence and culture.
  3. He listens to you. And not just because he’s waiting for his turn to talk, he’s actually listening. This involves asking questions and also giving you the space to explore problems on your own without jumping in with what to do.
  4. He makes an effort with your friends and family. A strong sign that he is in it for the long-term and really cares about you is seeing how he is with your family.
  5. You feel secure rather than anxious. A no brainer!
  6. He keeps commitments. If he cares, he will stick to his commitments. This means being on time, being there for you. He isn’t perfect, and sometimes lack of organisation means he messes up, but his intention is to be there.
  7. You trust him. What is there without trust? Very little, we say. This can take time to build up, as you get to know each other. Mr Right understands this and doesn’t try to push you to go faster than you want to.
  8. He is open about his feelings and intentions. He is sure about you and not afraid to tell you.
  9. In his arms you feel safe and at home. Which doesn’t mean an absence of lust at all. It just means that there so something familiar as well as something new and exciting. Sure, you’re independent and you don’t need a man, but to be in that embrace is to cocooned from the world for a moment and recharge.
  10. You just know. You can’t necessarily explain it but you just know this is him. It feels right, you both feel it. It feels different to how things have gone before and from your plans of how it ‘should be’. But, something in you has decided, this is the final destination of the dating train.

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