Something Borrowed

Something Borrowed

While 2011 proving a disappointing year overall for those seeking a good time at the movies, masochists all over had a hamper of horribleness throughout the year.

And while there is already a general list of the worst of the year here on FemaleFirst, this list is the true bottom of the barrel cinema releases this year.

2011 could also be declared as the year of the hateable lead, as every single film on this list, and many more that missed the cut, featured heroes and heroines so hateful, you just wanted to see them fail.

That Big Momma’s: Like Father Like Son avoided this list just shows the bounty of dirge on offer throughout 2011.

5 - Honey 2

Dance films have always lived or died on two things. Is the dancing good and do you route for the main dancer? Honey 2 drops the ball on both occasions.
We follow Maria (Kat Graham), a young offender who just can’t get out of the murky world of dance-battling (seriously, this is the plot).

Upon getting out of juvie, she sets about getting her life back on track by swearing revenge on her old crew that got her arrested, she joins a small troupe and tries to make them into a team good enough to beat them on a dancing reality show.

So, apart from the laughable plot where gangs pop-n-lock instead of shoot each other, Honey 2 is completely devoid of the charm, heart and sheer kinetic force dance films crave.

Hateful one-note characters, a dreadful script and some of the dullest dance set pieces in the whole genre, Honey 2 will have you praying for the credits to roll. If you hadn’t fallen asleep yet that is.

4 - Zookeeper

What could be better than Kevin James, the walking bad-slapstick joke on legs staring in a family comedy with talking animals? Un-anesthetised surgery and a whole lot more. Yep, it’s 2011 and we’re still getting talking animal films.

In Adam Sandler’s latest attempt to make you not hate Kevin James, we see him play James, the best zookeeper at a Boston zoo who gets unceremoniously dumped by his fiancée only to have her walk back into his life by random chance. He then must get advice from the animals, who now reveal they can talk about how to get her back.

Yep, that’s right; a man takes advice from a lion, a wolf and a bear about the art of courting. Cue a load of terrible, tired voice work, Kevin James’ own brand of awful bumbling humour and a film too dumb for even the youngest of kids.

The voice of the giraffe and monkey alone (Maya Rudolph and Adam Sandler) are enough to make you want to remove your own ears.

The single most depressing thing about Zookeeper though (apart from there being four worse films this year)? The film made an $80 million profit.

3 - Beastly

Ever looked at Beauty and the Beast and thought it needed more ponderous staring, indie-pop songs and less passion. Well, the makers of Beastly did, bringing the fairy tale kicking and screaming into the present day to capitalise on all that Twilight money.

So, inevitably, it’s set in high school. Here we find Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), a rich, popular jock with absolutely zero self confidence issues.

But after pulling a prank on the school goth-girl, she curses him with bad looks. Forced into hiding he forms a crush on co-student Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) he saves her from a bad drugs deal with her dead-beat dad and must make her fall in love with him before the year is out, or be cursed forever. 
We all know the story, but Beastly decides to switch the perspective to absolutely no prevail and manages to mess it up completely.

Our main character is a smug, stupid git at the beginning of the film and doesn’t change throughout. Matched with a heroine with as much drive and soul as a boiled cabbage, they make a truly terrible couple.

All not helped by the dire acting of Pettyfer and Hudgens (who take home Worst Actor and Actress for 2011 too), excruciating pacing and an incoherent script where characters simply disappear. Beastly, all in all, seems a rather fitting title.

2 - The Change Up

The body-swap comedy has been getting long in the tooth for quite some time. So, in a dash to rescue this laziest of comedy plots, the Change Up decides to bring in more than a little bit of blue humour. What we get is a foul, spiteful film that’s offensive to just about everyone.

Here we follow two friends, Dave and Mitch (Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds), a family man lawyer and a playboy actor respectively. But one night, after the two get drunk and relieve themselves in a fountain, they find themselves in each other’s shoes and must try not to ruin each other’s lives before they can find a solution.

To say that this film doesn’t have jokes is an understatement. It just doesn’t know what one is. Never venturing out of the crotch for ‘laughs’, this film Mitch is also the worst character of 2011, a pathological misogynistic scumball from start to end. And we’re meant to like him!

That the film is saved by a terribly sappy and undeserved second half says everything about just how dire the first hour is. But even The Change Up can’t match our winner (or lose dependent on you view in life).

1 - Something Borrowed

While all the other films on this list are simply different shades of awful, no film this year caused me rage like Something Borrowed.

This romantic drama sees us follow Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) a singleton who just happens to have had the hots for her best friend Darcy’s (Kate Hudson) fiancée Dex for quite some time. But after Dex discovers the secret, the two start to have a fling, causing Rachel to decide between her friend or her heart.

So, yes, this is a film about infidelity. But a complicated look at broken souls tormented by lust? Nope, a light, throthy comedy saying it’s ok to betray your friend/cheat on your fiancée if the other person’s a better fit for you.

Surround that horrendous message with truly horrendous writing and some of the most deplorable ‘human’ you may see on screen, and you have the full picture of Something Borrowed.

A simply toxic film throughout, it marks a new low point for Kate Hudson’s already questionable filmography.

FemaleFirst Cameron Smith

While 2011 proving a disappointing year overall for those seeking a good time at the movies, masochists all over had a hamper of horribleness throughout the year.

And while there is already a general list of the worst of the year here on FemaleFirst, this list is the true bottom of the barrel cinema releases this year.

2011 could also be declared as the year of the hateable lead, as every single film on this list, and many more that missed the cut, featured heroes and heroines so hateful, you just wanted to see them fail.

That Big Momma’s: Like Father Like Son avoided this list just shows the bounty of dirge on offer throughout 2011.

5 - Honey 2

Dance films have always lived or died on two things. Is the dancing good and do you route for the main dancer? Honey 2 drops the ball on both occasions.
We follow Maria (Kat Graham), a young offender who just can’t get out of the murky world of dance-battling (seriously, this is the plot).

Upon getting out of juvie, she sets about getting her life back on track by swearing revenge on her old crew that got her arrested, she joins a small troupe and tries to make them into a team good enough to beat them on a dancing reality show.

So, apart from the laughable plot where gangs pop-n-lock instead of shoot each other, Honey 2 is completely devoid of the charm, heart and sheer kinetic force dance films crave.

Hateful one-note characters, a dreadful script and some of the dullest dance set pieces in the whole genre, Honey 2 will have you praying for the credits to roll. If you hadn’t fallen asleep yet that is.

4 - Zookeeper

What could be better than Kevin James, the walking bad-slapstick joke on legs staring in a family comedy with talking animals? Un-anesthetised surgery and a whole lot more. Yep, it’s 2011 and we’re still getting talking animal films.

In Adam Sandler’s latest attempt to make you not hate Kevin James, we see him play James, the best zookeeper at a Boston zoo who gets unceremoniously dumped by his fiancée only to have her walk back into his life by random chance. He then must get advice from the animals, who now reveal they can talk about how to get her back.

Yep, that’s right; a man takes advice from a lion, a wolf and a bear about the art of courting. Cue a load of terrible, tired voice work, Kevin James’ own brand of awful bumbling humour and a film too dumb for even the youngest of kids.

The voice of the giraffe and monkey alone (Maya Rudolph and Adam Sandler) are enough to make you want to remove your own ears.

The single most depressing thing about Zookeeper though (apart from there being four worse films this year)? The film made an $80 million profit.

3 - Beastly

Ever looked at Beauty and the Beast and thought it needed more ponderous staring, indie-pop songs and less passion. Well, the makers of Beastly did, bringing the fairy tale kicking and screaming into the present day to capitalise on all that Twilight money.

So, inevitably, it’s set in high school. Here we find Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), a rich, popular jock with absolutely zero self confidence issues.

But after pulling a prank on the school goth-girl, she curses him with bad looks. Forced into hiding he forms a crush on co-student Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) he saves her from a bad drugs deal with her dead-beat dad and must make her fall in love with him before the year is out, or be cursed forever. 
We all know the story, but Beastly decides to switch the perspective to absolutely no prevail and manages to mess it up completely.

Our main character is a smug, stupid git at the beginning of the film and doesn’t change throughout. Matched with a heroine with as much drive and soul as a boiled cabbage, they make a truly terrible couple.

All not helped by the dire acting of Pettyfer and Hudgens (who take home Worst Actor and Actress for 2011 too), excruciating pacing and an incoherent script where characters simply disappear. Beastly, all in all, seems a rather fitting title.


by for v5.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on