Lena Dunham started "searching for a baby" the moment she "lost her fertility".
The 'Girls' star had her "uterus, cervix, and one of her ovaries removed" to aid with her endometriosis pain and she admits the loss of this made her want to rush to find a way to have a baby.
She said: "The moment I lost my fertility I started searching for a baby. At age thirty-one, after almost two decades of chronic pain caused by endometriosis and its little-studied ravages, I had my uterus, my cervix, and one of my ovaries removed. Before then, motherhood had seemed likely but not urgent, as inevitable as growing out of jean shorts, but in the days after my surgery I became keenly obsessed with it. Bedbound and tending to the five small laparoscopic holes in my abdomen, I scrolled through adoption websites as if they were furniture outlets. If I could no longer grow a baby in my womb, I could at least get one elsewhere, and fast. But there were a few obstacles."
However, Lena has now accepted she "can’t force the universe" to give her a baby that her body has "told her all along was an impossibility".
Writing for Harper's for their December 2020 issue, she added: "There is a lot you can correct in life—you can end a relationship, get sober, get serious, say sorry - but you can’t force the universe to give you a baby that your body has told you all along was an impossibility. Weak animals die in the woods as their pack mates run ahead. Bad eggs don’t hatch. You can’t bend nature. The irony is that knowing I cannot have a child - my ability to accept that and move on - may be the only reason I deserve to be anyone’s parent at all. I think I finally have something to teach somebody."
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